Linkedin Profile- https://www.linkedin.com/in/jessica-hartman-64048a120/
Linkedin Profile- https://www.linkedin.com/in/jessica-hartman-64048a120/
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So I had a totally different, more “professional” description. But let’s get real here. I have Multiple Sclerosis, and was recently diagnosed Bipolar. The hard honest truth is that I have been dramatically depressed for a long time. I have been through so much, and made so many mistakes, pursued all the wrong careers, that I got to the point that I genuinely just didn’t know what purpose I served anymore. Wondering if it would really even make a difference if I just vanished. I felt I couldn’t achieve anything more worthwhile than being a decent housewife. Even then I lacked in a lot of areas. I had no passions, no talents, no job, no reason to keep pushing forward.
BUT, then I picked photography back up. Within a month I had booked my first gallery show, supporting awareness for Bipolar Disorder. Now I’m in the works of my photos being published in a huge national blog by the National Alliance for Mental Illness.
I finally discovered my purpose. I know it sounds dramatic, but photography, and creating this idea for a brand, has literally given me a reason to live, keep pushing forward, and not give in to the hopelessness I had so deeply fallen into. I could go on and on about how my life has drastically improved as I found a purpose and passion. But eventually it would turn into rambling. All you need to REALLY know is that Photography saved my life. I’d like to keep the momentum alive for as long as possible.
Please support my journey of self improvement. Help me achieve something I can be proud of, and make a difference with. Help me continue to have hope for something better. Please don’t let my extreme social vulnerability be a lost cause.
Money will be used to obtain business license, domain name, domain email, marketing tools (business cards, ect), and remaining professional equipment needed to be the best I can be.
contributors will be honorably mentioned on my official website.
So in a bored attempt to better my portrait skills, I donned my favorite new lens, the 35mm and decided to practice on my pets! My cat loved it, she just sat there and posed for me. My little 3 pound dog however would not look straight, he kept moving and looking away from me! Also he COULD NOT keep his eyes open. seriously, every other picture I look down and they were closed! It ended up being hilarious. Plus, as is classic for him, I got several pictures with his tongue out. By the end I ended up with several good shots of him as well. It was definitely a funny experience though!
So I was playing around a little more with my new 35mm prime lens today. I figured out that yesterday I wasn’t adjusting my aperture, which is why my results were less than desirable. but TODAY I got some stunning photos! The bokeh effect I was achieving blew my mind. This is by far my new favorite lens. I’m extremely pleased!
So it’s almost 10 o clock, but I felt inspired to get down to the nitty gritty about my life and why photography is so important to me. When I was 13 years old I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. It’s basically an autoimmune disease that attacks my central nervous system and impairs cognitive and physical functions. (for more information visit- http://nationalmssociety.org) It’s been 12 years now and thankfully it is pretty well managed with monthly infusions. There has been some long term damage as far as memory, concentration, numbness, to name a few. But probably my biggest obstacle is that a year ago this May, I was diagnosed with type 1 Bipolar disorder. There is such a stigma around this disease that it makes it difficult to come right out and admit that yes, I am bipolar. It is one of the most difficult, emotionally draining thing I have ever had to battle. For me bipolar means frequent mania that results in poor financial decisions, feeling like I can achieve more than I can physically handle, aka making commitments I cannot follow through with, severely crippling anxiety (for awhile it caused me to have mild agoraphobia, which is the fear of leaving the house), and alcohol abuse. It also means having downfalls of overwhelming depression, negative self image, harsh self thoughts, thoughts of suicide or worthlessness, and withdraw from reality. Sometimes it gets really awful and I experience both mania and depression at the same time, and that makes for a giant mental battle. Over time I lost faith in myself, I quit trusting my decisions and ambitions. I concluded I would never really achieve more than being a housewife who watches too much Netflix and can’t hold a job. But then I got back into photography. My life started changing, in less than a month I had booked my first show in an art gallery in downtown Nashville during an art event. I would be raising awareness for bipolar disorder through photos and facts (see my first post). Shooting for that show helped me grow so much in managing my disease (which is currently doing well overall with medication.) I had actually accomplished something! The possibilities opened up in front of me and everything changed. I had a sense of passion I have never felt before. Ambition to be the best I possibly can, and strive to achieve the potentially unattainable. And thus A Day in the Life was born. I’m typing all of this tonight because it’s honestly been a rough day today. I’ve been mildly withdrawn and distant, mixed with a side of anxiety. It’s frustrating because I can see it happening, but I can’t seem to do anything about it. So I have decided to channel all of those emotions into blogging. I plan on being open and honest about the status of my disease, and when I’m struggling. I also intend to share my photography work and improvements as I journey along all of this. I hope you will join me in my journey, and I encourage all questions and comments you may have. Thank you, and good night.
So today I said goodbye to my old friend, where it all started a little more than 10 years ago. Today I traded my old Canon Rebel XTi and zoom lens, for three used Nikon lenses. In an attempt to not only better my skills and equipment, but also to make an effort to have more variety as I attempt to start my photography business. Being that I am a photographer, I couldn’t help but take one last picture of my original camera, as I have a lot of fond memories contained in it’s lenses.
So I said goodbye to an old friend, and gained three new ones! I was able to obtain a 20mm manual focus, wide angle lens, a 35mm prime lens, and 17-50mm lens. In the rest of this blog I’m going to show you different pictures taken with different lenses and tell you my experience with each one.
So the first lens I’m going to talk about is the 20mm prime lens. Here is the photo I took for a reference point between the three.
Overall I like this lens quite bit. I won’t lie, adjusting to shooting with manual focus only is tricky, and I often found myself pushing the button halfway waiting for the autofocus beep. But once I started adjusting to it, I enjoyed the freedom I had in being able to better control what object held the majority of my focus. I was a little disappointed that I was unable to get clear pictures closer to my image, it really seems to do better with a little distance between you and your subject. But I was extremely pleased with the outcome of my resulting image. It seemed to handle pretty well in lowlight, just required a little adjusting of my ISO and White Balance settings. Overall I can’t wait to play around with this lens some more, I was really pleased with my initial interaction.
The next lens I want to talk about is the 35mm Prime lens (prime meaning it stays at that distance, no zoom or anything like that)
Honestly, my initial response to this lens was EXTREMELY positive. It was taking incredible pictures while I was testing them before I made my trade. I’ve actually been wanting to save up for this lens for quite awhile now as it has remarkable reviews for how it handles in lowlight settings, ultimately making it a good candidate for macro photography. (which is where my current focus heavily lies) However, after getting home and taking all my lenses out to “play”, I had an incredibly difficult time getting my settings adjusted correctly so that my pictures turned out positively. My first experience I immediately noticed the amazing bokeh (Bokeh has been defined as “the way the lens renders out-of-focus points of light”. aka the blurriness of the background vs. the focal image.) But playing with it at home, I was having a really hard time achieving that effect. I also was unable to get as close as I would like to my target image. Once I decided to use sunlight vs. my less than favorable indoor lights, the shoot began to go much better. It does better with the bokeh effect when there is a group of items in the photo vs. a solitary item (ex. I initially made an effort to photograph my ring, but there was next to no bokeh effect with that set up). It handled great outside with more natural lighting, and my new subject matter allowed me to have more bokeh effect with my finished product. Overall, I have mixed emotions about this lens. I got frustrated with it this afternoon, but I contribute that to my somewhat novice understanding of selecting correct lighting settings. But by the end I remain hopeful. I think it’s a good, sturdy, dependable little lens. And with a little effort, some research, and a better understanding of everything, that it will become one of my favorite lenses.
Lastly! I am going to review the 17-50mm lens I received.
I didn’t really know what to expect from this lens. Getting it was kind of spontaneous as I was originally only supposed to get two lenses for the trade. (but I like photo equipment and I don’t mind asking for free stuff..) So bing bang boom I received a third lens. My level of excitement didn’t really match the level I had for say, the 35mm I had so desperately been wanting, because it seemed very similar to my stock lens I already had. But I figured it was probably already an upgrade (older but originally expensive) and the stock lenses provided with the camera aren’t necessarily the highest of quality. I was pleasantly surprised and impressed! Using the zoom I was able to get slightly closer to my subject matter, the lighting was easy to manipulate, and it didn’t really seem to have any issues focusing. I was impressed with the fact that it has a slight bokeh effect to it as well. And the sharpness of the image quality had me wanting more to photograph. It took a few more stunning photos than this image, but this was the best for the compare and contrast. BUT I am going to upload another one just to show the quality of the finished result.
VERY nice finished effect. I was pleasantly surprised, and quite pleased with the performance of this unexpected lens.
Well there you have it! I hope you enjoyed my little review/exhibit this evening! Please leave questions and comments below! I would love to hear from all of you. If you just stumbled across this blog, and like what you see, please click follow! I hope you all have a great rest of your evening! Until next time! 🙂
All of these photos are the original copy, no edits have been made to any photo included in this blog. Images belong to Jessica Hartman.